Everyone loves the presents jolly old Santa gives to all the nice boys and girls on Christmas, even the elves who make them. One elf in particular decided to share his daily routine. Marty McHumpernick’s experience at Santa’s workshop is unrivaled. Marty has been working there for 30 years nonstop. He is a jack of all trades being the head of the security watch department, monitoring all the little children around the world looking for the naughty kids who deserve coal. He is also the master toy builder and has made many new toys throughout the years, so you know this elf is the real deal. Here is the routine for the elves in Santa’s workshop.
6:00 am-Rise and Shine!!:
“At Santa’s workshop, we elves need to have an early start when making the toys for all the good boys and girls around the world,” McHumpernick said. “I start my morning routine with a peppermint bath/shower, then a nice stroll around the neighborhood and enjoy my morning,” McHumpernick said. Marty likes to keep his morning routine simple because his day is about to get really busy.
7:00 am Early Morning Munchies:
“We elves work about 8 hours a day, which is honestly healthy for our little old bodies,” Elf Dingle Berry said “In order to fuel our bodies we need a good and healthy breakfast with lots of nutrients.”
“Of course our food includes candy, cupcakes, and hot chocolate because what else would us elves eat?” McHumpernick said. “Having breakfast also gives us the time to get ready for our long (but in reality, pretty really short) day. I, for example, like to meditate before making the sweet childrens toys to make sure my mind is clear from everything but the happy children these toys will produce.”
8:30 am – Toy making:
“Our special little elves start the working day by getting into their specialized stations. Each elf is given a special station when they are born (because elves are born made for toy making),” Chief of Human Resources, Elf Jerry said. “Elves’ special stations are assigned to them for forever until the end of time. I manage all the suggestions the working elves have for the toy factory and try to fix them. Over my many years working here I haven’t gotten one suggestion from any elf, showing how perfect Santa’s toy factory is.”
12:30 pm – Snoozy time/Break time:
Of course everyone needs a break once in a while and after 3 long hours of toy making it’s time for the elves to have a break.
“If we’re really tired from our toy making adventure, then some of us will take a small nap, but if we’re energized, we play some games to give our minds a small break,” Elf jingle jangle said. “There are a variety of games to play since of course we make the toys, we can also take from the factory (with permission of course). After so much playing, the elves take some time to themselves, go to their rooms, and relax.
1:00 pm – Time for Lunch:
IT’S TIME FOR LUNCH!!!!!!!
“Lunch is one of the best meals for us elves because we can go to the all you can eat buffet and eat as much as you want,” McHumpernick said. “Everyone loves lunch so much because we get to see jolly old Santa Claus. He takes a break from reading all the Christmas letters that the children all around the world send and takes that time to chill and hang out with us elves!”
“Spending time with the elves is a must in my schedule, hanging out with all of them really brings out the Christmas spirit every day,” Santa Claus said “Taking some time for myself is a must because even though reading all of those boys and girls letters is fun it’s also very tiring for old saint nick.”
2:30 pm – Back to the work:
“Even though the elves are on their break the show must go on for the next 4 hours,” Jerry said “The elves need to be on their A game so they can make all the gifts on time for Santa Claus on christmas eve.”
Though it seems like the elves are the only ones working, the reindeers are also on their own little training schedule.
“We make sure that our reindeer are in optimal condition in time for Christmas,” reindeer Dancer said. “Santa needs his reindeer to be as fast as possible during Christmas in order to reach all of the boys and girls houses throughout the world. To meet Santa’s expectations, reindeer need to condition every day to become a faster reindeer.”
“As you can see, everyone at the north pole has a lot of responsibilities to face and what keeps us going is the happy children’s smiles,” Elf Jingle Jangle said. “Santa said that’s why the holiday spirit is so important, and that’s why we have these fabulous names!”
6:30 pm : Dinner Time:
“Dinner is served my friend,” McHumpernick said. “Pizza, Hot dogs, burgers, and even fries are all here for taking at Santa’s very own 5-star restaurant.”
Dinner is the time where the elves can relax and connect with each other by playing games together and having long talks with each other.
“I love the dinner that is specially cooked for us elves because after working for so long, a nice dinner always makes us feel appreciated by the higher ups.” Elf Peppy Sparkle Pants said.
7:00 pm – Break time/Wind down:
After such a long day of work the elves are finally getting ready to hit the hay.
“Each elf creates their own night time routine before going to sleep, some like to take a nice hot shower or practice a skin care routine while some like to just read a book,” McHumpernick said.
The most popular night time routine for the elves as studies show has been Journaling.
“Every elf likes to journal because at the end of the year Santa combines all of the elves’ journals together and makes a book of all the memories of that year,” Elf Peppermint Glitterballs said. “I try to incorporate as many silly things that happen throughout the year as I can so I have as many pages as I can in Santa’s Scrapbook!”
8:00 pm – Sleepy sleep:
“Shhhhhh the elves are now sleeping, make sure to be quiet on your way out,” McHumpernick said. “We elves have to have our beauty sleep in order to be able to function the next day, and in order to do that, we need to put on our nightgowns and lollipop eye masks to have the most comfortable sleep.”
“Now that you’ve seen how important the elves are for Christmas,” Santa said. “I hope you too learn how elves deserve the best and we are hopeful of your next adventure here at Santa’s Workshop!”
Aileen • Jan 12, 2024 at 4:57 pm
This is such a fun satire, Isaac! I really enjoyed this story! :p