The ‘Like’ Factor

In our current society, fitting in can be one of the most challenging things. One might change to feel fulfilled by fitting into society. Here are some takes our students have on fitting in and their personal experiences with it.

Junior Lauren Sainz has battled the “like” factor in high school by overcoming her feelings of self-consciousness and the need for others’ approval.

“In the past, I would see other people fit in with groups, and I wanted to fit in too,” Sainz said. “When I was just in the back, I would get so conscious that I was being forgotten. Pretending to be someone I wasn’t was so upsetting because I would not get to express who I truly was. I was scared people would not understand me.”

Junior Israel Calzada shared his experience with being pressured to show a specific image.

“I had to show a specific image before I could show my true self because I didn’t know how everybody else would react,” Calzada said. “My true self is just like a little boy on a unicorn with fairies and bunnies running around, but my image is a boy with big muscles who goes to the gym 24/7.”

Sophomore Aiden Davis believes that wearing a social “mask” is dangerous and has potential consequences.

“My advice to others would be to just not act like somebody else because then you are hiding 24/7, and I don’t think you want to live that miserable life.” Davis said. “At the end of the day, if you do not fit in, it’s okay because there will be your group somewhere in this world. Be yourself, because you are the only you, and you are the only person who thinks the way you think, and acts the way you act. You do bring something to society, and that’s why you should stay yourself.”

Intervention Counselor Tami VanMeter is someone who has interacted with many teens struggling with the same problem, expressing what happens on the inside/mentally. 

“The underlying reasons could be things that have not even truly been discovered about themselves yet, and they perceive others’ judgment, which may not even be true,” VanMeter said “Since teens are so self-aware, and self-involved, they think everything is about them. Unfortunately, the potential consequence is for them to never really discover their true, genuine selves. We can be chameleons and get along with every group of people. We see that as a positive, but when we try starting to research who we are within ourselves, we cannot because we have not been ourselves for so long, by wearing that mask.”

Teenagers are going through such impactful life events and they continuously search for answers about their identity.

“High schoolers should ask themselves, what is their genuine self,” VanMeter said. “Are you living this dual life where you would never meet your other version in person? Is it all pretend? As long as you have not dissociated so far that you do not have a grasp on who you are, there is always hope.”